Kerno

Friday, May 20, 2005

THIS SHOULD KEEP YOU UP AT NIGHT!

Imagine this scenario;

There's a company who buys your product. You have a very good relationship
with the chief buyer - they are very loyal to you company. One day, the CFO is slashing budgets and calls in the chief buyer to tell them to do significantly less business with you. But she slams her fist on the table and says;

"There's no way I'm doing less business. We've got to do more business with them! They're fantastic for us because..."

Finish the sentence.
(Fewer than 5% of company president's can)

Courtesy Steve Yastrow @ tompeters.com

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Even the umbrella's are in on it…

Lectures last night (Audit) – someone had a rainbow umbrella that I opened out of curiosity. You see, there’s an old science experiment whereby you paint a round card with rainbow colours and spin it. They merge into a murky, crappy looking white, but hey, it impressed me as a four year old. Also, I was attention seeking. Well, it worked.

The sound was sucked out of the room by the collective hiss of twenty people. Evidently I had either accidentally skewered the very last Tasmanian Tiger or signalled to ASIO to commence the Doomsday Sequence. Granted, we have no nuclear weapons of our own but we have very good relations with the USA.

None of the above – apparently opening an umbrella indoors is v. bad luck and I had just cursed myself for another seven years, or twelve karmic lifetimes, whichever comes first. Interpretations varied.

So, fully expecting to be hit by a bus and then pulped into a pothole by a street sweeper, I made it home in one piece. My classmates were not so lucky. In the days since the class one has had her hard drive hammered (Wooh! Alliteration!) by the ever-wrathful God of Machines and lost her major uni assignment. Another broke up with her boyfriend of three years. I, meanwhile, am still okay, albeit a little too pale.

It seems that my bad-luck quotient is just TOO FULL and so the bad luck I invited by dint of my opening the umbrella indoors simply bounced off me and reflected onto all the other suckers in the room.

I AM INVINCIBLE!